Don’t worry? Be happy! That is what the song says to us – but HOW?
I expect you are saying, ‘I’d love to stop, but I can’t!’
So here are two things to assist you: one is an amazingly encouraging piece of news AND the other a Mind Chi 8 step, fool proof way to stop your worrying – want to know more?
First the amazing news comes from a study which says the average person spends 110 minutes a day worrying about work, money, relationships and appearance! OUCH!!!
That might not seem too bad until you work out the sum of how much time that is for your ‘average’ lifetime – a whopping great FIVE years – wasted, unnecessarily, causing you stress and strain! Would you like to use those 5 years more enjoyably?
Some of you may really enjoy worrying and if that is the case and it is a conscious choice to continue, off you go! But if you would like to stop – please read on.
First, let us clarify that we do not mean considering your options and doing some risk control thinking when you have a problem. We mean the chicken circle thinking, where you go round and round with the same scare mongering thoughts. This usually means that you also put yourself in an increasingly negative emotional state, this makes the chicken circle dance begin an increasingly downward spiral. Then your thinking and mood go from bad to awful, to catastrophic!
So what to do about it? Here is the Mind Chi 8 step way to stop worrying:
- First, become consciously aware that you are worrying. Make a little movement, such as tapping your wrist to really bring it to your awareness.
- Next note the topic you are worrying about on a piece of paper or your phone, so you are sure to remember what it was. However, right now, is NOT the time to worry about it, so get on with something else!
- If a bit later you find yourself starting to worry about the same thing again, then put a mark by the topic to show it is the second / third / forth etc. time. And get on with something else!!
- If you find that you are starting to worry about a new topic, then note that on your paper as well and note any repeats of that. And get on with something else…
- And you will ‘get on with something else’ because you have a special treat in store for later that day. Schedule into your diary a 30 minute very important appointment.That is your 30 minute ‘ worry time’. Just for you and just for all those topics you noted during the day – ahhhhh – uninterrupted worry time. (You will have noted, I am sure, that you are actually saving 50 minutes of your life from the fragmented, hodgepodge previously unconsidered worrying you did – already a plus!)
- Take your piece of paper out and look at the topics you have written down. You may wish to prioritise them and divide your 30 minutes up accordingly.
- Set your timer and pick your first topic and start to seriously worry. Remember no solutions, no options, NO plans, NO positive forward thinking. JUST useless chicken circle thinking! I expect you will find it IMPOSSIBLE to fill your allotted 30 minutes!
- Repeat this process for as long as it takes you to realise that worry is a waste of your precious life and reduces your overall resilience. Any time you slip back, just repeat again. Even if you stay with the 30 minutes you are still adding nearly 2 ½ years of good quality, positive days to your life – not bad!
Five years gained and not a diet or exercise in sight!!!
Here are a few good quotes I found about worry:
From George F. Burns – “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
And Erma Bombeck – “There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”
Finally Robert Eliot “A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.”
Now you know how to – Be happy, don’t worry!